Laura Writes

Laura Writes

The official blog and website of author Laura Castoro (aka Laura Parker)

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Mermaid or Whale?

Like you, I get so many emails from friends about one thing and another.  Many humorous, some serious, some a bit out there.  Some I pass on, others I think, hm.  This one made me smile at its cleverness.  Enjoy!  Don’t know who wrote it so I can’t cite the contribution. If you find out, let me know.

Recently in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid

mermaid-green-tail

or a whale?”

whale_clipart14

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

whale_clipart13

They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT? Therefore, they don’t have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

mermaid2

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

curvy girls

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ?Good grief, look how smart I am!?

After reading this I thought this person would make a great character for a story!

Hello! I’ve been writing.

I’ve been squirreled away all January, writing.  And, yes, fighting a nasty virus.  So Da Muse decided that as long as I was housebound she’d make a mercy visit.  Bless her!

Please keep fingers and toes crossed that my editor is as happy as I am with the DELTA RIVER SERIES first book:  DELTA BLUE.  Oh, and a contract will follow, soon.


Family Folklore–Writing memoirs that capture life for fun and profit

On another note, I’m holding an all-day writing workshop in Hot Springs Village, AR Saturday March, 20.  It’s about writing memoirs, yours and your family’s experiences.  I coined the term FAMILY FOLKLORE because I think it best describes those stories we know that are handed down through the generations.  They may absolutely be the truth, or have been embellished in the retelling, or the details may have been confused over the years but they are the stories tell us about our place in the world as gleaned from ancestors, our families, and our friends.  And, of course, ourselves.

Psychologists say that every healthy family has a handed-down family history of usually oral stories: the good, the bad, and the hilarious.  It makes us feel connected.  Look, there are people out there like me:  Great Uncle Henry stole a horse?  Really?  Oh, to save the baby boy who’d fallen down the well.  Whew!  I thought I was about to learn why I keep having these brushes with the law. (I’m joking!  Unless you know better. LOL)

In this workshop I will explain how to write, what approaches to take, writing exercises to tickle those long-forgotten memories, and how to expand the particular into a broader interest piece in order to sell.  Intimate writing for public consumption.

Hope some of you will join me.  If you need to come in and spend the night the Hot Springs Village crew can offer accommodation advice.  My favorite spot is a B&B owned by friends Mike & Rhonda Hicks:  http://www.mountainthyme.com

Below the photos there’s a site to go to for more information  and to register.  Hope to see you there!

Laura CastoroPsst! I’ve lost weight since photos were taken!  LOL  Laura Castoro

The deadline to register for the March 20 annual writing workshop sponsored by the Hot Springs Village Writers’ Club is March 8. (If you’re a little bit late that’s okay but you may not have a chance to do the pre-workshop homework!!)

Entitled “Family Folklore–Writing memoirs that capture life for fun and profit,” the workshop will be conducted by Laura Parker Castoro.

Registration and details here. or here: http://www.johnachor.com/beejay/

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 5

Seems as if every year-end I think, “Boy, I’m glad that one’s over.  Next year has got to be better.”   But I’m not sure that’s true.  Last year wasn’t really better than the year the before.  In many ways the previous years’ indulgences, greed, and wishful thinking just finally all caught up with us at the same time in 2009.  So, instead of being glad to see 2009 go, I’m going to rethink the year 2009 as having been better than it started out to be, bad as it was.  And I’m still here.  My family is all here.  We are alive and mostly healthy, and moving on.

About New Year’s Resolutions: hate them!  They seem, to me, to burden the new year before it’s begun with “Have Tos”, “Should Dos”, “Do Nots”, and other general admonishments that really just call attention to whatever I think is wrong or deficient with myself in the first place.  NOT a good way to clear the decks and begin with renewed vigor.  So I’m going to start with Happy Tos:

1. Happy to have lost weight this year.  Will repeat with even better results next year.  If not better then more of the same.

2. Happy to have had a book out this year.  Will repeat the effort next year even if the results don’t turn up until 2011.  One must begin.

3.  Thrilled to have seen all my immediate family at least twice each last year, particularly since everyone lives at least one state, some more, away.  Repeat at will in the new year.  And maybe I can add other family members.

4. Grateful to have so many good friends.  Some I haven’t seen in a long time but thank goodness for email, Facebook, YouTube, Skype, and so forth.  I feel in touch even when I can’t touch.  For the new year I will try to learn to be a better texter.  Tweet?  Probably not!

5. Grateful and honored to have so many readers of my novels. It’s been mostly a pleasure to write and its always and continuously an honor to hear from anyone who spent the money to buy a book and then thought enough of it to write me about it.  Those make my day, the Icing On The Cake. (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

Who knows what the future holds?  Mostly more than we can imagine and a few things we wouldn’t want to face if we knew about them in advance.  Yet here we are, again, on the precipice.  And the view goes on forever, for all we know.

Happy New Year 2

“Christmas and Coconut Cake” — The gift that keeps on giving.

Since my last blog was about how things sometimes don’t go so smoothly in publishing I thought I’d tell you about the better-late-than-never Christmas Present I just received:

Sometimes good news comes from the past.  I’ve just discovered, 5 years after it’s first printing, that House Housekeeping included my grandmother Eva’s Coconut Cake Recipe in their 2004 edition.

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“Bake It! Good Housekeeping Favorite Recipes: Cakes, Cookies, Bars, Pies, and More (Favorite Good Housekeeping Recipes)”

My grandmother’s recipe is on Page 174.


Of course, there’s a back story.


Back in the summer of 2002 I was invited, as a published author, to submit a story idea to Good Housekeeping Magazine for a short story based around the holidays.  It was a competition with invitation-only published authors asked to participate.  Now I’d never written a short story to try to publish it.  And life being life, so unpredictable, the offer to submit a story idea came while I was in Denver at a writers’ conference.  Just to make it even more interesting, I was told I had exactly 24 hrs to come up with the storyline.  AND, I didn’t get the call from my agent until the end of the day, so I was nearly 12 hours behind when I heard about the competition. My agent said think of something.  It was privilege to even be asked to compete.  But don’t expect to win.  After all, some the competitors were published short story writers.

I agreed.  Only one small, teeny weeny problem.  I had no idea of what to write about.  Unlike many authors who seem to have a backlog of great ideas, I tend to construct plots as I need them.  In addition, I’m not good at extemporaneous writing.  Write on demand?  Not so much.  I admire writers who can sit in a class and at the teacher’s instruction within minutes write a great paragraph: something funny, poignant, or wildly imaginative.  I tend to go deer-in-the-headlights catatonic: brain slides into neutral and stays there until half an hour after the class is over.  Makes you wonder how I write, doesn’t it?  I like to be alone.  All alone, preferably with the entire house at my singular disposal.  Hah!

So I went to bed brain dead.  No Christmas stories lurking in my mid-June (July?) brain.
I wrote up at dawn.  The only thought in my head was about the stories my mother had told me about her childhood in Fort Worth, TX.  She was a Depression Era child, grew up with very little but thought that that was okay because she was loved.  In her household — all women, 3 adults and one child — Christmas was about making do, being clever, and a positive attitude.  The major treat for my mother was not what was under the tree, if there was a tree, but the cakes the women in her household made. My great grandmother always made a Yellow Cake with Chocolate Icing.  My grandaunt made a White Fruit Cake. But my mother’s favorite was her mother’s fresh Coconut Cake.  There wouldn’t be a real Christmas without it, she once told me.

I was desperate so I sat cross-legged on the bed beside my sleeping husband and began to type on my laptop.

Finding a coconut in Fort Worth, TX, a good 300 miles from anything tropical in 1932, had to be a stretch.  Coconut didn’t come in plastic bags or cans.  So getting one fresh was a necessity.

What if…by the time they could afford one, there were no more fresh coconuts in the neighborhood market? Today, we could just drive to the next store

But what if – as in my ancestors’ case — the next store was in a white-only neighborhood and the family was ‘colored’ and so forbidden by custom from shopping there?

Now I have a problem — no coconut — and it’s critical because it’s not Christmas for the child without the coconut cake yet trying to obtain a coconut is going to require an element of danger, potential humliation, perhaps even arrest.  Family upheaval?  You bet.

I shot off my one page idea.  My agent sent it in.  3 days later I was a finalist.  She said congratulations!  I had beat out a couple of dozen well-known short story authors but don’t expect the prize.  Be proud of the achievement.  I was.  By cracky, I had made finalist.

Then, 24 hours later, she calls again.  ”Are you sitting down?  They chose your idea!”

I have to admit it was one of the most gratifying sales of my life.  I’m sure I was helped by the spirit of my ancestors.  One catch, I had three weeks to complete the story.

Only my mother was still alive but I felt I knew my great grandmother from the stories I’d heard about her.  After going back to my mother several times to make certain the details of the era and the people were true to life, I read my story to my mother, she said it was a perfect portrait.

I changed the names and created a situation that did not occur, but could have.  My short story titled, “Christmas and Coconut Cake” was published in Good Housekeeping Magazine’s December 2002 edition.


As an afterthought, I asked my editor at Good Housekeeping if she would like my grandmother’s Coconut Cake recipe.  Little did I know they would take it into their world famous kitchens and test it. publish it!  But they did.  My editor calls and says they want to publish it but would I mind if they sweeten up for modern tastes?  I did not!  Because the cake was integral to the storyline and perfectly reflected the magazine’s focus and interest: women and food, and good home life, it was published at the back of my short story.

So now I’ve learned that my Grandmother Eva’s Coconut Cake recipe was published for the world in 2004 as one of the 150 best recipes.  How nice.  How fitting.  I am so proud for her.

Good News: COUGAR TALES available. Bad News: My name/storyline is wrong in the promo!?!?!

For anyone who thinks that once a book is on the shelves they are home free, think again.

BUT FIRST:  I found out last week that the anthology I wrote a novella for last January – the 3 week, 110 pages Do-Or-Die marathon for those of you who follow my blogs — is finally out in book form.  Yes, it’s been available as an ebook since late summer.  But I have to admit to being a Luddite.  I don’t download novels.  For those who prefer a solid chip of wood to read, this is your opportunity!  Let’s get the prelims over first.  It will make a heck of a great stocking stuff for any woman.  Appropriate as an office gift, Secret Pal, Hanukkah gift, birthday, any and every occasion.

“Is forty really the new thirty, or is it just an excuse for an older woman to date a younger man? Perhaps it is another chance at love? In Cougar Tales, three short stories give us a little insight into what it is like to want love and find it in a place and with someone younger than expected…” Sharel Love.

Here is the cover and two easy access ways to by it.  I’m told Borders and Waldenbooks should have it and/or can order it.  It’s three stories by two of my favorite authors:  Sandra Kitt and Evelyn Palfrey.  Oh, and me.  As the title implies, they are romances that tell stories about older women and younger men.  Yes, they are fun and sexy and very romantic!

Peruse the cover.  Read the opening of my story here: “Stormy Weather.” Buy it if it intrigues.  And then read on for the tale of the story that became  ’now you see it, now you don’t.’

Cougar TalesTO BUY: Click

Barnes and Noble

Amazon

Now for the story behind the story.

The first thing I know you are wondering is:  Why is Laura’s name smaller than the others?  It’s a question I asked myself.  And then the editor.  They told me it would be fixed, as we say in the South.  It hasn’t been so far.

Now for the Bookseller sites:

Problems at Amazon site has the author attributions correct but didn’t review MY STORY but one that’s not even in the book!!!  MY story is called STORMY WEATHER! Then they go on to give the WRONG AUTHOR BIO. And you thought you had issues.


What’s no better are the Problems at Barnes and Noble Site: There they have the WRONG author’s name in the byline! My name is on the book cover but not in the credits.  And to that. Only one author is featured in the write up and only One Storyline (not mine) is in the Description.  Da Muse was going to get bent out of shape about it until I told her to read the reviews:

“Out of the 3 stories, the one by Laura Castoro was my favorite.”

I thought the stories were great especially “Stormy Weather” by Laura Castoro.”

Yes, evidently there were copy-edit issues in the un-edited versions that went to reviewers.  MY HUMBLE APOLOGIES.  Da Muse is thinking about being un-infuriated.  I’m easier.  I just hope readers enjoy it once they get their hands on it.  Let me know.

MOVIES — It’s that time of year again

It’s that time of year again, movies I want to see, hope to see, will find a way to see.

First up, THE PRIVATE LIVES OF PIPPA LEE: http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/451869/The-Private-Lives-of-Pippa-Lee/trailers

Private lives of Pippa lee

A movie about a mature woman with a very interesting life, or lives, according to the storyline.  We all live several lives, that’s the posit of the story.  I can identify.  Every woman over 35 can.  If she can’t, she’s missed something important.  It’s never too late to move on, move over, or move past.  Hooray for Robin Wright Penn. No longer the PRINCESS BRIDE seeking her perfect prince, she’s the whole show with a backlog of frogs and kings!

A SINGLE MAN: http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/455443/A-Single-Man/trailers

A SINGLE MAN

Been a fan of Colin Firth since long before he played Mr. Darcy in the BBC mini series of Pride and Prejudice.  He just has a way of being that everyman with a riveting soul that comes through his eyes.  When he portrays a man in love it makes a woman know that, if a man ever looks at her like this, she better grab him and never ever let go.  If you’ve never paid attention to his power to persuade even while seemingly doing nothing try Bridget Jones Diary.

SHERLOCK HOLMES:  http://movies.nytimes.com/movie/392042/Sherlock-Holmes/trailers:

sherlock-holmes-movie-6

Robert Downey Jr.  What can I say, always thought he was a brilliant actor.  So glad he’s gotten his private life under control.  You can’t watch anyone else when he’s on the screen.  He’s always been that way.  No matter the part, no matter the scene, you watch him. The most playfully unexpected moments in his films are because of him.  Every expression of thought and feeling registers on his face.  You see his intelligence even when he chooses to act the fool.  But then, the fool always knew the truth no one else would dare utter.

Also glad that, like Johnny Depp, Downey has finally come into his own.  And he makes the most of it.

It also reminds me of what we lost in potential with the passing of Heath Ledger.  He had the same volatile creative spark.  More than a pretty face, Heath, like Johnny and Robert, presented a fully articulated human soul that could be captured in character on film.  What might have been…!

And, just for fun…

THE TOOTH FAIRY: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVvuoz2HjwM

tooth_fairy_poster_the_rock

Got to love a man as gorgeous as Wayne Johnson who doesn’t mind being seen in powder blue satin in THE TOOTH FAIRY.  Of course, he fills it out in a way that no woman could mistake for anything but Alpha Male in his prime!   Here’s the pitch:   “When a pro hockey player, nicknamed the Tooth Fairy for his ability to knock out other players’ teeth, dashes the hopes of a young boy, he is ordered to one week’s hard labor as the real Tooth Fairy.”

Wayne “The Rock” Johnson is funny, he’s charming, and even when he’s goofy you still know he’s in on the joke with you.  Intelligence.  Such an aphrodisiac.  (I’m just quoting Da Muse!)

Inspire: to be the motivating but unnamed power behind…

Where does your inspiration come from?

This is one of the TEN TOP QUESTIONS fiction writers are asked by family, friends, acquaintances, media types and downright strangers on a plane.   Some of the others include:  ”Are you still writing? Do you know the people you write about?  How much money do you make? Who are you favorite authors?”

Many of us develop stock answers so that we won’t fumble around in our heads for the answers when these questions come up.  After all, we are paid to work in words, right?  Who wants to read a writer who isn’t good at answering questions?  I know for a fact the answer is plenty!  Not every writer is a great speaker.  Some are downright painful to listen to yet they create wonderful, intriguing, can’t-put-it-down stories.  That’s because writers can take hours or days or weeks to form the perfect comeback their characters toss off in mid-scene.  We are crafts persons whose medium is language.  We toil.  We seldom ad lib without going back over it, just to make certain.  Good writers who are good speakers are fortunate.

But that’s not the topic today.  It’s about that inspiration and how badly each and everyone of us needs it in our lives, no matter what we are doing.   One great remedy for writers running low on inspiration is a writers’ conference.  You need to do your homework, know who is speaking and what the topics are, but then I say sit in on as many workshops as possible.  You never know who will prick your creativity.  It might not be the headliner but a voice of wisdom for you and your work.

I’m going to suggest another author’s blog post not just because it is, in part, about me, but because she shows through her post how important attending writing conferences can be to a writer at any stage of her or his career.  And, it inspires speakers to do their best and try hard to offer something that will allow them, too, to sometimes become the unnamed power behind.

cpwritergirl: #mce_temp_url#

Enjoy!

Maumelle Writers Conference & Checklist for Story Ideas

Yes, I’ve been speaking a lot lately, and enjoying it more and more.  It helps me with my own writing to organize a workshop around a specific topic, even if the occasional speaking engagement turns extemporaneous.  Most recently, at the Maumelle Writers Conference, November 7,  my One-On-One with writers who had sent in work ahead of time took on a critique group angle when the writers didn’t show!   So we read and discussed their work.  It turned out to be a great session — she said modestly — because several viewpoints were heard from the full compliment of attendees as we talked about how sometimes one simple solution can solve a seeming array of problems.  For instance, Point of View problems can skew a reader’s perception of who is speaking and drain a scene of it’s impact, direction, and even understanding.  Another thought, it’s easier to critique good writing then poor writing.  These were all examples of good writing that needed a bit of tweaking.

My keynote: Postcards from the Trenches was about the Writing Life and the need for writers to have writer friends.

So, I want to share a few pictures of the day and then my handout: CHECKLIST FOR STORY IDEAS.

audience 2 -- resizedEllen Withers-Please, commentatorpostcard from the trenches 2speaker panel

Now something for writers:  Checklist for Story Ideas by Laura Parker Castoro

CHECK LIST FOR STORY IDEAS*

by

Laura Parker Castoro

THE STORY

1. DO YOU HAVE A PLOT?

A. Is your main character faced with a problem that it is very important for her/him to solve?

B. Is the problem suitable for the story you are writing? For example: romances are based on complications within the relationship. Mysteries must be puzzling.

C. Is it a problem that will interest your readers?

D. Are there real obstacles in the path of the main character which prevent her/him for easily achieving that purpose or goal?

E. Does your main character solve the problem satisfactorily by the end of the story?

2. IS YOUR CHARACTERIZATION SOUND?

A. Are your characters real people with whom the reader can identify? Are they composed of good and bad qualities?

B. Have you given them the abilities and emotional capacities that will allow them to achieve the goal you’ve set out for them?

C. Are you characters consistent? People may grow but they don’t change overnight. Nor do they change completely.

3. IS YOUR STORY UNIQUE or CONTAIN UNIQUE ELEMENTS?

A. How is your idea NEW or DIFFERENT?

B. Is it entertaining?

4. IS YOUR LOGIC SOUND FROM BEGINNING TO END?

A. Does one event naturally follow the next in ways your reader can easily understand?

B. Are any surprises believably explained by the end?

CHAPTER BY CHAPTER

5. DOES THE OPENING GRIP THE READER?

6. DOES THE BODY OF THE STORY CONTINUE TO BE OF ABSORBING INTEREST TO READER?

7. IS EVERY SCENE RELEVENT TO PLOT DEVELOPMENT?

8. IS YOUR SETTING BELIEVABLE?

9. IS YOUR DIALOGUE NATURAL AND APPROPRIATE?

10. ARE THE VARIOUS STORY ELELMENTS BROUGHT TOGETHER AT THE END IN A SATISFACTORY WAY?

EDITING STORY

11. DO ALL ACTIONS, DIALOGUE, AND DESCRIPTION MOVE THE STORY ALONG?

12. HAVE YOU AVOIDED CLICHED PHRASES AND SITUATIONS?

13. ARE YOUR TRANSITIONS QUICK AND SMOOTH?

14. IS THE FLASHBACK, IF USED, ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY?

15. DOES THE CLIMAX FULFILL EXPECTATIONS OF THE STORYLINE?

16. DOES THE CONCLUSION SATISFY? IS IT BRIEF?

Copyright*

Soul Food and then some

It’s not every day that I get to help make a fire and then cook over it.  In fact, I can’t think of any time I’ve cook anything more interesting than hot dogs and Marshmallows which went into make S’mores over an open fire.  There was the time my husband and I slept on the floor in front of the fireplace because…well that’s another story.  Last week, I helped make corn pone (hot water cornbread cooked on a casket iron surface for those of you who, like me, didn’t know what it was before last week.  It was served with local cane syrup and molasses)

I want to tell you briefly about another person I admire and think you might be interested in.  Her name is Dr Leni Sorensen.

Leni Sorensen

She’s the African American Research Historian for the Thomas Jefferson Foundation at Monticello, VA, the home of President Thomas Jefferson.

Leni’s also the reason I was passing out corn pones, roasted sweet potatoes, sorghum and molasses, along with a mixture of turnip, mustard and kale in a field next to St. Joseph’s High School last Wednesday.  She was in Pine Bluff as the guest of one of my book clubs: the Harbor City Book Club, who had obtained a grant from JRMC for promoting good health.  She spent the week talking to more than a 100 high school and another 150 college freshmen students about the history of the foods we call like to consume and why some of our favorite American meals — ham, fried chicken, sweet potato pie, French fries and soda — aren’t all that good for us unless we expend 2000 calories in heavy labor per day, as our ancestors did!

(I had suspected that aerobics class couldn’t compensate for 20 oz of soda.  To burn off those calories, one needs to walk for more than 1 1/2 hrs!!!!  A large fries? Forgetaboutit!)

Leni is also a personal friend and a dedicated foodie!  That means she not only cares about what she eats but how it was obtained, where it was grown, how and if it was processed and who did the work.  And that’s just the beginning.  She wants to know how it was cooked, in what kinds of pots, with what ingredients, and how other recipes, cookery methods and so forth go into the history of the eating of the particular food being presented.  If you are beginning to suspect that this means a peanut butter sandwich is enough to fuel a discussion that can go on long after the last bite has been swallowed, then you are right!

What a delight to discuss food, herbs, cooking, even fire with her.  After a very short time I guarantee you will begin to think of food, history, our ancestors, and farming very very differently.  Best of all, Leni walks the walk as well as talks the talk.  Here’s a recent quote from her tweets:

“11 jars of pie apples, 5 jars of apple syrup, 4 loaves of sandwich bread for the freezer.. Good weekend in the kitchen.”

And here: http://www.virginialiving.com/blogs/virginia-living-blog/from-garden-to-pantry

Two other examples:

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new batch of baby chicksLeni’s Brusselsprouts harvest from her own garden in the background.

Keeping the new batch of baby chicks warm.  She sells the eggs and, yes, eventually eats the hens.  Waste not, want not!

For more about Dr Sorensen and what she calls FOODWAYS, check out her blog.

http://indigohouse.blogspot.com

Florida Writers Conference — Day One

What I learned today.

  1. How to change some commands on my blog site.  Wow! Sometimes I don’t know how much I don’t know.
  2. I don’t do enough strategy for my marketing of my work.  Need at least 6 months of sustained promo.
  3. There are over 1000 members of FWA.  WOW!

Meeting some lovely people!

FWA AttendeesFWA Attendees 2Jack, Weslynn, and PeterSandra, David, and MartieDavid and ChristineMoi and author Gwendoline Fortune

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